2023 March 21
How long ago has it been since the first post from this very old blog. Do people still know what a blog is? Ha! A lot of things has changed since I have written and posted my first blog (and it wasn't here on Blogger, and it wasn't called Blogger back then, it was known as Blogspot, I don't know what happened. I was gone from the blogging scene for a long time.)
Anyway, back to today. Today has been 12 years, 11 months, and 23 days ago since I posted my first blog here in Blogger, 24th March 2010. It will be 13 years in a few days. That's 4,743 days in between.
Wow, it has been really that long. A lot has happened, and I mean ALOT.
Between my last draft circa 2017, and today, changes in the world, a pandemic, climate crisis, natural disasters, inflation, trends, music, and many more.
And of course my personal life.
During the beginning of 2019, things has started become more stressful and confusing for me specifically in my research study. It's has not been really smooth sailing during since I have started my graduate studies. Nothing is ever perfect and happily ever after. So pressure and stress has been a common occurrence. But I think, it had started to get worse in 2019. I started feeling more pressured and more overwhelmed. I even talked to other doctorate students, and they shared it was normal to feel pressured, and even experience the "imposter syndrome". I knew I have started experiencing it. l was starting to doubt myself. And I even wanted to just go home and leave the program. Then, I thought, maybe I could push through little by little. Be able to complete my doctorate program by pulling myself together, I might eventually get there.
Then, 2020 came, and the news of the Covid19 pandemic spread throughout the world. And became a reality for everyone. Places closed, people went to working at home, but a lot of people also got laid off. Schools closed for most part of the world. The usual cycle of how the world works was disrupted and somehow stopped.
I went for vacation on January 20th, and no cases of Covid19 has been recorded in the Philippines so far. So far, things were still moving normally. Or so I thought. Vacation time should be fun and exciting. But it was different for me this time. I have received a message from my supervising professor about writing my dissertation back home instead of Korea, where the university and our lab office is.
I was kind of weirded out and thought nothing of it at first. But it eventually got to me, and I wasn't able to enjoy my very short vacation. It wasn't even more than 3 weeks. It felt like I was being forced out of our research lab. It felt like I was being ousted and pushed out. And all that was said through a chatting/messaging app. I was disturbed by the fact that this topics should be discussed in person. It felt like my opinion was being disregarded and that I have no say on it. I forgot what message I sent as reply. The mere fact that this has happened before to my previous lab mate is very alarming. It seemed like a threat instead of just a message. It was very ominous and not just a suggested idea for the course of my research work.
I eventually returned on February of the same year. And then lockdowns happened. No one just travel from one place to another without quarantine, and other requirements to prevent the spread of the flu. Gatherings were not allowed. Concerts and sports events were cancelled. Online gatherings started to become the norm - online classes, online concerts, online meetings, online seminars, online betting, etc. It was a drastic change in the normal lifestyle of most people.
But it seemed like it was just normal in the university, plus the just wear masks, use sanitary gels/alcohols, and check temperatures as you enter buildings/offices. Most were very unsure on what to do, what personal preventive measures to do since a lot of people that have been infected were brought to intensive care unit or worse died. The mere fact that death was inevitable and resulted to a significant percentage of the recorded cases. It was a very depressing time.
