First (of August)

It''s the first of August and it's a good chance to start something new today. So I've decided to try blogging again. Cheers~!

It's been a while since I've posted here. I've forgotten some of my random rants I've posted here. 

There has been a lot of changes these past years. I've also experienced a lot of challenges and some success (::grins::). 

The view I see from our humble office. (during spring time)

I've learned a lot of things in the past and looking back at my posts from this blog makes me want to continue sharing my random rants (and thoughts) with the everyone else online (even though I know, very few or even none will be reading this, sigh...). Well, anyway, I'm still going share whatever whatnot I'll come up with. 

Space thing

IMG_0667 copy
Originally uploaded by luntian88

this is such a random entry from none other than the author, me!!!!
actually i have nothing worthy to say but, I still want to express myself here. You see, I was uploading the pictures I took last May. Then, I saw this photo of a pillar. It's just one of the pillars of KLIA. I thought it looked nice to have its photo taken, but looking at it now makes me think. Actually, it gives me an idea of some outer space facility rather than just a pillar. It makes my imagination go on to the point that any moment this pillar would move and transform into some machine or whatever techie thing that could be similar to transformers. Just imagine, when you stand in front of it, it would sense your presence then it would start transforming into a transport robot.
So what do you think about this pic?
LOL, I'm just talking randomly here, but that's how I see it. anyway, since this is such a random entry, i think i should end it here. Good night! Ja!

on my way home

I had a lot of things in mind while I was riding the bus on my way home. Well, a lot of things happened today. And a lot of feelings were conveyed today.

Do I need to say more??? Ehehe... That would take too much of this page. I thought of writing this blog about the things that happened today >.<













After wards, around 5pm, we had our orientation for the graduation. The things we need to do and the things we should not do were reminded over and over. The attire and the time were also noted. So most of the NEEDED reminders were discussed








^the moving vehicles created the effect of moving lights



The program ended after an hour or two, but we decided to just laze around and stay. Just take pictures and chat. And a lot of topics had been pulled out one by one.

I felt really betrayed today. After hearing the stories of the friends I was with, I do not know what to say anymore. Betrayal is the worst thing in friendship. And that was what I felt. It did not felt good, definitely the worst I have ever felt.




^the bus had a short stop for the departing passengers
























The image is quite clear since the bus stopped at the red light. My backpack can now be recognized as well as the seat in front of me. Luckily, the image has that "effect" of being artistic. lol! Since I'm already home and quite tired from typing this, I'll take my rest for now. Until next time. Ja!

the aftermath

so after the incident last march 14, i guess everything went well....
after such a "gruesome" ordeal, prayers and faith of many friends paid off after surpassing such challenge ^__^. Well, I needed to do additional work to complete the requirements to SURELY pass the course *such relief*
*sigh* I thought of more things that could have happen, but then, grace was given to me, and a small activity was asked of me to fulfill the requirement,...
I'm really relieved.... really, I never thought it would be like this. But more than that, I guess I should be VERY thankful. ^__^

I just hope everything goes well from here on.
More challenges are on the way but I know I we can do this!

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail".
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ano na?

march 14, 2010

ano na? hindi ko actually alam gagawin ko. di ko alam ano next move ko. hindi ko nga alam dapat ko i-expect. ngayon, nagtatanong ako, ano na gagawin ko?

wrong

march 14, 2010

i guess i was wrong. didn’t expected this result.ha! but i was quite hopeful. really, i shouldn’t have expected too much. i was really hopeful, i was crushing all my doubts, all anxieties. i was hoping for something to happen. a good one. but i guess, it was just an illusion? i don’t know for sure. i guess i was just fooling myself to ask for something more. maybe this is how it should be. but i havent given up. “Never give up” that was what i used to say. and i’m sticking with it, “Never give up”.

repost: sad news

30 December 2009 @ 03:07 am

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Music: Elton John
Lyrics: Bernie Taupin
Piano and vocals: Elton John
Bass: Kenny Passarelli
Electric piano: James Newton Howard
Vibes: Ray Cooper
Accordion: Carl Fortina

What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you’re not there

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it’s all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word

It’s sad, so sad
It’s a sad, sad situation
And it’s getting more and more absurd
It’s sad, so sad
Why can’t we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word

Now, the real story begins… ahem…. *penny for your thoughts*

So I have seen a not-so-good news today. And I was shocked a bit but it was, somehow, expected news. That’s the reason I’m writing this blog entry. I guess this is where all my thoughts and feelings would go regarding that no-so-good news. Wah!! I feel so disappointed about myself. I also feel sad. Well, the result was quite predictable but then again, i felt that I’ve been cheated. But I don’t have the right to “feel cheated” since nothing of some sort actually happened. It’s just that I have been waiting/ anticipating a news about it for some time now. Then, “WHAM!” it comes to me with a shocking truth. I don’t know how to say this but I feel a need to let this out. Even if it’s just here. Even if I cannot say it directly. I don’t feel like crying out but it seems that it should be thing I’m doing. I don’t know. My thoughts are scattered.

Need to sleep. Maybe, just maybe, when i get to sleep and rest my mind, I would be able to accept the news properly…

Ja,

kai….. (no smiley, for now…..)

repost: words…

May 3, ‘09 1:38 PM

awww!!!! it’s been a long time since i’ve actually written an entry here.
seems like it’s been ages…. hmmnnn… i’ve really been busy lately but i feel lazy doing all of them…
i just feel like i need to find time for myself but i cant since i still have responsibilities in school…
was it a bad idea to be researching during vacation??? i kind of regret it since i really want to spend summer vacation lazily!!!!
i just want to laze around… sleep, eat and just relax…. but i guess i cant do that…. ::sigh~~~~::

now let’s get going with the real reason i am typing this entry….
i…. i feel restless…. i have this feeling that i cannot understand… more importantly i feel confused…
or maybe i’m just thinking too much…

it all started with a little game….
yup, a game of truth or dare…
i lost. and i have to get a punishment. but i get to choose what kind of punishment. i chose dare. it’s easier. way easier (i think)
but my other “friends” decided for me. and i was kind of forced to do the “truth” part.
and guess what?! i did not refused. i just went with the flow. and makes me furious and mad to myself >.<
i should not have accepted such fate! i should not have allowed such event to happen.
i accepted it like it was most natural thing to do. and then it happened. the most awaited question. i;ve thought of my answer.
but at the same time i wanted to escape at that very moment. i wanted to just disappear like *poof*! but reality is so cruel. truth hurts like more than anything. and it deeply hurts more when people do not understand your reasons. people tend to assume on their own. people believe what they want to see. i could care less of what people think of me. But i cannot accept the fact that they assume on their own the reason i have responded.

is it wrong to weigh things carefully before answering a question answerable by “yes” or “no”????
yup! i do think carefully about it. i want to think carefully about it. i need to think carefully about it.
i have to, ’cause if i don’t, i might have lost my self respect, or worse even my dignity.
it’s hard to explain to other people when they do not exactly know what happened.
and now, i’ll tell you the reason i want to think things carefully before answering questions, even if they are just answerable by yes or no.

it was years back, when i was much much younger, naive and blunt. (even though i’m still quite the same but not that much =.=;)
a classmate once asked me a question which was really simple no explanations needed, just a short and simple answer.
i answered quickly without thinking through what i’ve got to say. i even made an unnecessary explanation to make my answer even more convincing. but guess what? i regretted it. i really do. my classmate did not talked to me for more than a month. he ignored me like i never existed. ii seemed like we never knew each other for years. it was all broken.

i should not have answered so quickly. i should not have given a thoughtless answer. i should have taken my time to answer it. i should have carefully thought of what i would be saying.

another incident happened with another friend. i’m not so sure of what i told him, but i am certain that i have used the wrong words to him for him to almost erase me in his life. wahaha!!! how dramatic can that be?!! but that was how i felt when he suddenly deleted me as one of his contacts. He stopped sending me text/mail messages. it just stopped.

now, you see the power of words. once you’ve let them out of your mouth you cannot eat them back. you cannot throw or tear them out them burn them just to make sure no trace of it leaves your mouth. Words are powerful. They create an impact on others and make an impression of you. whatever you say reflects you. whichever and however you say such words creates an image of you. Even if those words are directed to others it brings out a reflection of you. and i remember having read a quote from a book, “your words must always be edible, for you may need to take them back and eat them.”

i have reflected on these past situations and i would never ever want to experience them again. i have regretted it once, i would not want to
endure such negativity.

a simple “yes” or “no” could change everything. and i mean EVERYTHING. impossible? unbelievable? maybe.
but to me, it was so real. so real that i can still remember how i stupidly made those mistakes.
that’s why i;ve learned from them.
not say words carelessly. it was my resolution.

the power of words.

repost: quote, unquote

Mar 15, ‘09 12:51 PM

You don’t regret the things you did,

but the things you didn’t do.

I heard this line from a TV show.
and it made an impact on me.
I pondered on it, and it keeps on popping in my head.
Maybe, that’s the reason I had to post it here.

I thought about it. I remembered the things I did in the past and all.
And it’s true.
Most of the time, we always say to ourselves that even if we made a mistake in doing something, we had no regrets for doing it.
But when we think of the things we weren’t able to do or achieve,
we mope on it for some time, and feel a bit of regret for not being able to do it…

Maybe that’s why some people always give their best in everything they do and never let each moment pass them by.

‘Seize the day’ some may say. Living each moment as if it was your last. That has got to be even more. Life is just once for everyone.

A moment… A chance… An opportunity…
Just once…. it comes just once…

We are just passers-by in this world.
Achieving our dreams, living our destiny.
Live each day as if it was your last.
Fulfill each moment with every feeling that you have.
For a second, a minute, an hour, a day that passes
will be forever gone.

Now, as i see my life, i ask myself: Have i ever regretted anything??
::think::

*sigh* I guess, I had some things that I wasn’t able to do.
But I’m willing to be better and live each passing moment to its fullest.

Facing all the challenges, it might be difficult to fully live each moment. But, that’s life! The spice of life. And it get’s better after it.

I hope i can fulfill my time earnestly.
Better than what I expect it to be.

repost: update about life

Mar 14, ‘09 12:17 PM

WARNING: another rant from the author about life (specifically, school life…)
if you dont like reading rants/venting, read no more…
if you’re fine with these things, you are very much welcome to read and comment.

so let’s update what’s been going on with my life… for the past week, i’ve been facing countless numbers, solutions, formulas, etc…

understanding fluid flow, combustion reaction, sulfur conversion, depreciation, capital analysis, conduction, convection, radiation, evaporation, food, drug and cosmetics act, biofuel act, price act, property rights act, biomaterials, smart materials, mechanical properties, etc….

my brain is so fried!!!! i think i’m getting dumber and numb each day….

this week was a total “ring of fire” period….
and that’s what i thought first, and i still think the same,
but as the days went on, i guess i kind of gotten used to it -
being busy and totally pressured and stressed


and as if things could get any better, this coming week is already our
FINALS weeks – the so-called “judgment day/s”

i really wanted to spend time with my friends since we have this special day to celebrate: “Friendship anniversary”
it’s something we made up to commemorate the start of our wonderful friendship. but we cant meet up with each other since almost everyone is currently busy…. *sigh*


we still have an online quiz tomorrow… then on tuesday, it will be the beginning of the end…. *sigh* *sigh* *sigh* ::too many sigh’s::

my mind gets easily blank these days, and i start to stare at nothingness immediately… gaaahhh!!!!!!! i think i’m gonna be insane just thinking of what the results of this semester would be…

i just hope it ends well for everyone…

AJA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*raises fist high up in the air*
FIGHTING!!!!
JIA-YO!!
GANBATTE NE!!!!
WE can Do THIS!!!

repost: shocked.

Jan 24, ‘09 12:52 PM

ever since i saw that image, i just cannot get it off my head…
i have a very good visual memory, i tell you, and may be that’s the reason why
that shocking-scary image got imprinted in my mind…

friday, 1 PM, classroom
there was no professor,
i brought my laptop since i had no net connection at home
i was using the free wi-fi access in school
one of my classmates gave me a net site which leads to an online game
but the game can only be played between 6 PM to 6 AM
i changed the time of my PC to around 8 PM so that we could have access on the site.

loading the game was taking forever since it was in a flash format.
the game started off with a real time view of the scene, what the player sees is displayed on the monitor. most of my classmates were surrounded to where i was since some of them knew the nature of the game while the others were just as curious as me.

the first part was quite easy, since all you have to do was to get inside a door before a black figure captures you…
after getting past the door, you will enter a very dark abandoned restroom. you have a camera in your hand with 9 shots. you’ll be needing to capture a face to face shot of a lurking spirit that’s within the room. it took me several tries to take “the shot”. with the great help/ coaching of my classmates i was able to get a shot. and my oh my, when i clicked the “cam”, the so called ghost was really terrifying!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i mean it!!!!!! she was in a chamber maid uniform and she was really pale and eyes were wide open and she was screaming like crazy in front of the cam… it was really surprising since the sound effects and the timing were really good, and the volume of my PC was really loud.

i just cant take it off my head
even after i had gone home, it really retained in my head.
i even told my mother about it
the image was really horrible!!!!!!!!!!!! aarrrrrrggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

at this moment, i hate myself for having such a visual memory
(other than that, i dont hate it ^___^)

but it’s really frustrating since i always remember the image clearly from time to time!!!!!

gaaahhh!!! i think i’m going crazy!!!!!!!

and, before i forget, i think my net connection really just works around midnight until dawn…
gaahhhh!!! i hate my net service provider!!!

repost: quotable lines….

Jan 7, ‘09 10:30 AM

i just thought of doing this after two days of school stuff for the new year…
hehe, nothing much…. to some it may give an impact… to others it may seem like a joke…
and to a few, well, just let them feel what they have to feel ^____^

here are some of the “quotable lines” that i’ve learned/heard from other people for the past two days:

1. Sometimes we do not see the mistakes we’ve been doing because we’ve been enjoying doing such mistake that it had seems to be the right thing to do…

(originally quoted from:
“Minsan nagmumukhang tama ang mali nating ginagawa dahil sa ikinasasaya natin ang paggawa nito…. “)

2. I just cant imagine myself being in that kind of relationship…

3. Go without a doubt,
if there’s any, better not proceed and regret such move…

(originally quoted from:
“Pag may pag aalinlangan, wag mo nang ituloy,
ngunit kung malakas ang iyong paniniwala, sige tuloy lang”)

4. Never expect people to change instantly,
sometimes, it just takes the perfect timing
to have that change….

5. Never doubt faith or destiny….
Sometimes, you just really need to be patient and believe…

6. You don’t regret the things you did,
but the things you didn’t do.

7. Lucky? Guess not, opportunity and timing
really get the best out of everything,
especially with Success.

repost: intro chaos!

Jan 3, ‘09 12:08 PM

waaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i posted my intro late!!!

but the worst thing about it is that it’s

just a few minutes!!!

so ok, here’s the story….

i was accessing the file in the file exchange
page of the thesis group (at around 11
PM)…

then, suddenly….
*poof*

i my net lagged and it was disconnected…

i nearly cried…..

but i didn’t

i waited for the net to reconnect…
and

*voila* i was able to access the net again

but time was running out…
it was almost midnight (around 11:50PM on my clock)

so hurried accessing the file exchange page

i quickly uploaded my file…

i even made a mistake in typing my surname

because i was really in a hurry

in about a few minutes was able to upload
my file (it was quite fast, I tell you)

but to my dismay

the page displayed:

File uploaded 12:04 AM 04 Jan 2009

WAHAAATTT!!!!!!!!

But my clock displays the time as: 11:58 PM

now, WHAT DO I DO???

i don’t know…………..

…………………………………………..
…………………………………………..

i just stared at the screen for a 2 good minutes….
(o.o)

i need to get back my senses

well, good thing our prof. has an

email add…

i just sent her an e-mail, telling the

whole story…

I hope she considers it…..

i’m just hoping this isnt the end for me….

repost: wrong number =.=

Dec 30, ‘08 9:07 AM

hi there everyone!!!
it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted something worthy here…
well this one’s not that important but it’s something that has been bothering me….

so here it goes…

what would you feel if you were awaken by the ringing of your hand phone at around 9 in the morning, then when you reach your phone to answer it, the ringing suddenly stops????
a) annoyed – “hey, it’s so early in the morning!”
b) irritated – “you woke me up from my slumber, and you hang on me??!!!”
c) surprised – “who might be calling at this time???”
d) alerted – “wah?! why? who? is it an emergency??!!”
e) nothing – “whatever =.=” returns to sleep

my answer was a mix of all the choices ^___^
but it was getting into my nerves when it happened again,
yup it did happened again

for the third time…. (i think…., i was really sleepy, but i know i had a lot of missed calls early in the morning few days ago)

whenever i checked my phone when i wake up, i would see that there would be at least 2-3 missed calls…

it was a bit of irritating since it isn’t actually a “wrong number” since i know the person whose calling, but i really wanted to answer it
and say “I’m sorry, you’ve got the wrong number…”
Just like in DBSK’s song “Wrong Number”

What’s wrong with that person??!!?! “THat Person” could just send a SMS to say what he needs to say. No need to call, and wake me up from my deep slumber, arrrgghhh!!!!

well, anyway, here’s the song “Wrong Number” by DBSK

link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6uPWvB1DY4

repost: school update [rant]

Dec 15, ‘08 10:33 AM

WARNING!!! another rant of the author about another emotional/nerve-wracking experience in her life.
if you’re not interested in such ideas, pls read no more.
but if you’re so curious about it then you have all the right to proceed and read this entry.

guess what?

we’ve been through 2 days full of quizzes!!!

imagine, fluid dynamics and materials science&engineering quizzes in just a DAY!!!!

ooWW!! bernoulli, i’m gonna sue you!!!!!

Goodness gracious!!! i know we’re supposed to know and understnd these concepts, but we’re still humans and we’re still in the stage of “learning” them…

we’re still under the stage of “processing” these facts!!!

and pls. oh pls. dont assume things on your own.

okay, so maybe a lot of people are saying that this batch is “oh-so-great” but we’re still ordinary students….

we never wished for us to be branded like this… we’re just doing what we usually do, or what we got used to… if they’ve taught/trained us from all these learning techniques and all from the beginning we would not have turned out this way… if they’ve prepared us earlier from all these complicated stuffs, then they wouldn’t be seeing all these bad habits of ours, or at least it would have been lessened…

crystal structure, I’m so gonna break you!!!!!! would you be able to answer the quiz if all you knew and learned from the lectures were “read this and that” then suddenly the powerpoint presentation moves to another slide???!!!!

how would you be able to “READ and UNDERSTAND” the topic being flashed by the projector if it suddenly changes to another topic, and this goes on for quite some time.. and all you’ll gonna feel is that you’re getting dizzy and your head hurts so much, and you’re so freakin’ frustrated since your head hurts yet you weren’t able to understand any of the topics discussed due to to the fact that each slide were flashed for just a few minutes or maybe just seconds.

and you wanted to understand and learn the lesson yet you weren’t, again, since the slides were flashed in just a blink of an eye… what the??!?!?!?!!? and yet you are expected to fully understand the topic and you should be ready for the quiz…. and how would you be so interested in the lecture/ discussion if the one who makes the lecture doesn’t look so intent in teaching such “new” concepts and ideas??!!!?!!?

what are they thinking??!!???

and just this morning (which was supposed to be a no-school day since we only have classes from tuesdays through saturdays) we had our first quiz in Unit Operations!!!!

it was okay, but the time was so much limited!!!!

We were supposed to start at 9 AM, but our instructor came at around 9.20. And we officially started the exam at 9.45!!!

And we had to finish it at exactly 12NN!!!!

Geez! we’re only humans you know!!

why o why are they doing these to us?!?!?!

i know were so capable of accomplishing so many things but we do these in our own pace. I agree with them that we seem to be an “oh-so-great” bunch but don’t suddenly make us do things that we were not so used to do. I understand that we are expected of giving “excellent” results, but sometimes we just can’t. At the moment, we can’t. We need time. We just can’t suddenly change into something that we aren’t. We’re not amorphous!!! And we won’t change into something we’re not just because you say so.

I believe we can accomplish all the things that they expect

from us i our own way. It may seem egoistic of us, or they may even misunderstand it

as a rebellion. We have our own approach of achieving such

things. It may seem weird but, hey, it works for us.

And so i hope they get to realize a bit…

we are what we are…

repost: dead tired =.=;

Nov 16, ‘08 8:08 AM

*** this should have been posted this afternoon (around 5 PM) but my net connection suddenly went off…. hehe… as in “no connection”

i’m so sleepy and tired…
my mother said i look so pale already..
*aish!!!* my freakin’ head hurt so badly that I can’t sleep even if I want to..
my hands are quite numb…
aaarrrggghhhh!!!!! I’m so stressed!!!!!

that’s why i’m ranting this all out in my stupid blog!!!!
arrggg!!! forgive me for all the “harsh”/ “unconventional” words I’m including in this rant..
it’s just not my usual way of conversation… *mian he

shoot!!!!!! my head just hurts from facing this PC for the loooooonnngggggesssttttttt time….
i’ve been facing the monitor for the last 12 hours!!!!!
can you imagine that!!!???!!!! my eyes hurts like ****!!!
it’s the worst feeling, i tell you (aside from failing, or having your bones broken…i think) so stingy…..

and i feel really really really really hungry!!!! RAWR!!!
even if i eat a lot during a meal, just after a few hours or minutes, i can feel my stomach to be burning and grumbling!!!! *sigh,,,..i still feel hungry right now*

i don’t feel like going to school tomorrow….
haaayyyyyy…. i really feel so tired….. so drained…..

***the actual time this was posted

i’m feeling a lot better now… hehe ^_____^
i have taken a nap then when I woke up, my mother had already prepared dinner. YATTA!!!!! FOOD!!!! FOOD!!!! FOOD!!!!

i feel quite refreshed (take note: quite, i didnt say “really”)
i’m still wanting to have some more snooze…..

zzzZZZZZZZZ

repost: what a lazy bum

Nov 9, ‘08 9:46 PM

ok….. i have a line of assignments to do….
and here i am facing the screen just browsing the net…
i’m such a lazy person…

i know, i’ve already started my 2 very loooooonnnnggggg homework…
but i’m only halfway done =.=;
and the submission is only until tonight…. waaaahhhhh!!!!! T_____T

and i still need to make a draft for the **** ****…..
AAARRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it’s making me frustrated…
i want to finish them all as soon as possible, but my lazy-disease is kicking in….

i need to do something about this… RAWR!!!!!! *pulling hair in frustration*

so, tell me, what do i need to do to give me a driving force to finish all these things????

it’s so unlikely of me not to finish what i’ve started. and I know this can get worse if I dont solve this now. I mean NOW, at this very moment!

NOW, i think i can do this!!!! AJA!!!!
a sudden force gave me the push to suddenly be hyped and do my homework and such…

until next time. hehe!!!!

—ranting is really good!!!!! makes me feel refreshed and happy!!! *^______^*